Research
Does Size Really Matter?
A research roundup of PLOS ONE, Journal of Urology, and UCLA data. The 7-minute read that resets the conversation.
Read the research
The reading room
Insights On Body Positivity Dating And Modern Online Dating
Welcome to the NotAboutSize blog — a slow, careful corner of the internet for people thinking about dating, disclosure, and what attraction actually looks like once shame steps out of the room. Our editors pair peer-reviewed research with member experience, so every essay leaves you with one useful idea you can apply on a Friday night, not just a Sunday afternoon.
You’ll find pieces on the truth about size from PLOS ONE, The Journal of Urology, UCLA, and BMC Women’s Health; practical scripts for the disclosure conversation; safer-online-dating tips; and inclusive guides for LGBTQ+ adults navigating niche platforms. Body positivity dating doesn’t mean ignoring bodies — it means meeting them honestly. That’s the standard we hold ourselves to here.
Featured articles
Featured articles from the NotAboutSize editors
Nine essays that cover the full arc — from the science of size to the soft skills of getting through a first date with your nerves intact. Start anywhere; they’re self-contained.
Attraction
What Women Find Attractive In Men
The 85% satisfaction stat, the girth-over-length finding, and what actually moves the needle in modern attraction.
See the traits
Attraction
What Men Find Attractive In Women
Beyond the obvious. Mindset, presence, and the small confidence cues men consistently respond to.
Explore the traits
Decision
Is Online Dating Worth It?
Pros, cons, and the specific cases where niche platforms beat mainstream apps by a wide margin.
Weigh the trade-offs
Intimacy
Best Sex Positions For Small Penis
Ten positions tuned for sensation, comfort, and connection — with toy pairing tips and anatomy notes.
Read the guide
Confidence
Disclosure Anxiety: A Practical Guide
Scripts, timing, and the body-positive reframe that ends years of rehearsing the conversation in your head.
Get the scripts
Community
Finding Partners Who Prefer Smaller
Where size-affirming partners actually hang out, red flags to skip, and conversation starters that work.
Find your match
Confidence
Building Body Confidence For Men
Mindset reframes, grooming basics, therapy paths, and sexual confidence tips that compound over months.
Start the work
Safety
Online Dating Safety Tips For 2026
Profile privacy, photo strategy, first-message vetting, and meeting in person without losing your nerve.
Stay safe online
Inclusivity
Inclusive Dating For LGBTQ+ Adults
Why mainstream apps fail gay, bi, and trans users — and how to find niche spaces that feel like home.
Read the guide
Filter
Browse by theme
Each essay is tagged with one or two themes. Click a chip to scroll the featured grid to matching articles, or browse them all.
Showing all 9 articles.
Latest from the editors
Latest from the editors this month
Three current reads, each with the date the editorial team last refreshed the sourcing. We update evergreen pieces when new research lands.
Research · May 2026
What The Newest Size Research Actually Says
A May 2026 ScienceInsights synthesis of PLOS ONE 2015, The Journal of Urology meta-analysis, BMC Women’s Health 2001, UCLA’s Sexual Psychophysiology Lab, and Psychology of Men & Masculinity confirms what our editors have been writing for years: preferences cluster near average, girth shows a mild edge over length, and male size anxiety vastly exceeds the focus women report. Read our full breakdown linked to source studies.
Read the synthesis
Confidence · April 2026
The Disclosure Script That Members Actually Use
We collected the exact lines NotAboutSize members have shared in our community forum — the ones that ended years of rehearsal. Three opening sentences, two follow-ups, and one calm closer. Use them verbatim or adapt them; either way, the goal is to move the conversation past the moment as quickly and warmly as possible.
Read the scripts
Safety · March 2026
Photo Strategy For Privacy-Conscious Daters
One unblurred face shot, one full-body shot, one activity shot — never the same photos you use on Instagram or LinkedIn. Our editors walk through the photo-vetting workflow our community uses, including reverse-image search habits and the metadata stripping you should do before any upload.
Read the workflow
Start here
Start with the basics
New to the site? These three pages give you the full lay of the land in about five minutes of reading.