NotAboutSize is the private dating site for small penis men who are done explaining, apologizing, or hiding. You don’t need to be the kind of guy mainstream apps reward — the tallest, the loudest, the bro. Here, you simply show up as yourself, and the people who match with you already accept the one thing that has caused you the most disclosure anxiety.
Email-only signup · Photos optional · Inclusive of all orientations
Specialty dating sites work because the audience self-selects. The men in this space share a single starting point — smaller-than-average size — and arrive from wildly different lives. Here is the texture of the community as of May 2026.
Tech workers, nurses, teachers, electricians, chefs, designers, paramedics, and remote freelancers. White-collar and skilled trades in roughly equal share. Income range $35K–$95K, comfortable with a $3–$15/month subscription if it earns its keep.
According to Dating Scout, the average member age sits between 35 and 41, with the most active group in the 25–34 window. Secondary 45–55 segment includes post-divorce men returning to dating with clear-eyed self-acceptance.
At launch, one in five men joining identified as gay or bisexual. That share has grown. The platform is built for any orientation — straight men dating women, gay men dating men, bi men dating across the spectrum, and trans men dating partners who see them clearly.
The features below were not bolted on to a generic dating engine. They were the reason we built NotAboutSize: a smaller, calmer experience designed around the specific anxieties that mainstream apps amplify.
No opaque algorithm picks for you. Filter by age, distance, orientation, body-positivity language in bios, and lifestyle markers. Each login bumps you toward the top of search results.
Upload as many photos as you like — clothed, casual, candid. Photos optional at signup. Add them later. Blur them for the public and unlock for trusted matches only.
Private one-to-one chat with the option to share photos inside the conversation. Read receipts on premium. Block and report in a single tap, with a paid human moderator review within 24 hours.
Mobile, tablet, and desktop are kept in step. Browse on the phone over coffee, read long bios on the laptop at night, finish a date plan on the tablet on the couch.
Hide your profile from specific users, specific cities, or anyone who hasn’t verified. Approximate location only — never precise GPS. Profiles never appear in public search engines.
Delete your account from your dashboard in one click. Photos, chats, and metadata removed within 30 days. No silent archives, no reactivation emails, no surprises.
The single most useful thing you can hear, before you write your bio, is this: the men who do well on specialty dating sites are not the men who happen to be slightly bigger than the niche average. They’re the men who stopped negotiating with themselves about whether they were allowed to be wanted.
That sentence sounds like a slogan. It isn’t. The behavioral pattern is observable. The men who get the most matches in our category write bios that lead with what they enjoy — cooking, climbing, vinyl, late-night ramen, restoring old film cameras — not with apology, qualification, or pre-emptive defense. They post one clear face photo, one full-body photo, and two photos doing something they care about. They reply to messages within a day. They suggest a coffee or a walk by the third exchange.
This isn’t a personality test you pass. It’s a stance you practice. Read our guide on building body confidence for men for the practical work, and our piece on disclosure anxiety for the conversation script you may not have realized you needed.
Research keeps confirming what specialty dating apps already know: physical size is one ingredient on a long list, and a smaller one than most men assume. Studies published in PLOS ONE and the Journal of Urology consistently report that the majority of women rate their partner’s size as satisfactory, with girth and partner connection ranking ahead of length. Read the full breakdown in does size really matter? and the deeper synthesis in what women find attractive in men.
NotAboutSize is fully inclusive. The platform welcomes men, women, and transgender people of every sexual orientation, and a unique search tool filters results by preferred gender so you avoid messages you don’t want and find matches you do.
The majority pool. Women on NotAboutSize have explicitly opted into a body-positive dating community — they aren’t accidentally here. That alone removes the single biggest source of disclosure anxiety on mainstream apps. You match with women who have already read the brand promise and agreed with it.
One in five men joining at launch identified as gay or bisexual, and that share has grown. Gay and bi members report relief at leaving apps where the size-focus is loudest. Profile filters let you narrow by orientation, role, and lifestyle without forcing you to out yourself in your bio.
Trans men are welcome and dated as men. Trans women are welcome and dated as women. Non-binary members can describe their identity in their own words and filter for partners who explicitly indicate openness. Read our breakdown of inclusive LGBTQ+ dating for the full landscape.
NotAboutSize is fully inclusive of every gender and sexuality — including straight, gay, bisexual, and transgender members. A search tool filters by preferred gender to avoid unwanted messages. — Platform inclusivity statement, May 2026
Setting up a profile on dating apps for big guys takes ten minutes when nothing’s in the way. Here is exactly what those ten minutes look like on NotAboutSize, in order.
Enter an email and choose a password. That’s the whole signup form. No phone number. No credit card. No social media linkage. A confirmation link lands in your inbox within seconds.
Tell us who you are and who you’d like to meet. The orientation filter takes two taps. Add pronouns or leave them off. Indicate trans-inclusivity if that’s where you stand. Edits are saved live.
Write a few sentences in your own voice. Prompted fields help: a favorite weekend, a thing you’re curious about, a deal-breaker, a date you’d enjoy. Photos optional — blurred by default, unlocked only for trusted matches.
Use the manual filters to find local matches. Each login pushes you toward the top of search results. Your first messages are free. Read receipts and unlimited messaging live on premium tiers from $3/month.
The quotes below are from real members who agreed to share, with names and identifying details adjusted. Read more in our About page founder story.
It’s far better to date online with strangers, and even better on a dedicated site such as this one, because everyone already knows in advance. The conversation can be about us, not about my anatomy.
I spent eight years on mainstream apps writing bios that were 80% apology. Here my bio is about hiking, sourdough, and bad movies. Last month I had three real second dates. The math finally works.
Why a private dating site beats a generic app for body-confident men, in one table.
| Feature | Mainstream apps | NotAboutSize men’s category |
|---|---|---|
| Audience already body-positive | No | Yes — self-selected |
| Manual filters, not algorithms | Algorithmic, opaque | Manual, transparent |
| Phone number required | Usually yes | No — email only |
| Trans-inclusive filters | Mixed, often hidden | Single-toggle, prominent |
| Public profile exposure | Frequently indexed | Never indexed publicly |
| Subscription range | $15–$40/month typical | $3–$15/month |
| One-click account delete | Often buried in support | Yes — from dashboard |
If the men’s category is your front door, here are the rooms next to it.
Consent-first kink dating for SPH dynamics, size-difference play, and the queen-size partners who enjoy them.
Visit fetish spaceAnatomy-friendly intimacy, technique over size, and partners who care more about how you connect than inches.
Explore intimacyLocal meetups, moderated forums, and members’ perks for body-positive adults across the country.
Join the clubPrivate rooms, AI-assisted moderation, photo blur, and group spaces for casual conversation that goes somewhere.
Start chattingWant the broader site FAQ? The full FAQ page covers account, billing, eligibility, and safety in depth.
Sign up free, set your city or zip code, and open the search filters. Sort by distance and last-active status to find local singles who logged in recently. Each time you log in, your profile rises toward the top of other members’ searches in the same area — so daily logins meaningfully improve your visibility without paying for a boost.
NotAboutSize is a body-positive specialty dating site that welcomes members with disabilities, including cerebral palsy, mobility differences, and chronic illness. You can describe your situation in your own words in your bio, and filter for partners who explicitly indicate openness. Dedicated disability-focused apps exist too — many of our members use both.
No. Photos are optional at signup. You can fill in your profile, browse, and even send your first messages without a photo — though most members add at least one before matching seriously. When you do upload, photos are blurred for the public and unlock only for matches you trust.
Private. Profiles are never indexed by Google or other search engines. Your photos, bio, and location appear only inside the logged-in experience. We do not sell data to advertisers or brokers, and approximate location is the highest precision we ever store.
Signup, browsing, profile filters, and your first messages are free with no credit card required. Premium chat — unlimited messaging, read receipts, advanced filters — costs $3 to $15 per month depending on the tier, billed monthly, with a 14-day refund window if it’s not for you.
Yes. One in five men joining at launch identified as gay or bisexual, and the share has grown since. Filters let you set who you’d like to meet without revealing it in your bio, and the moderation team is trained for queer kink and queer non-kink contexts equally.
Yes. Trans men are welcomed and dated as men. Trans women are welcomed and dated as women. Non-binary members can self-describe and filter for matches who indicate openness. A single trans-inclusivity toggle hides profiles that haven’t opted in — protecting both sides from awkward conversations.
This platform is not a fit for people who reject body positivity, prefer algorithmic matching to manual filters, or expect unlimited messaging on a free plan. It is designed for adults 18 and older who want a calmer, smaller, opt-in dating experience.
